Can somebody please remind me what is life's purpose? I totally forgot. I lost hope in everything and everyone, especially myself. I'm moving around aimlessly. The one and only thing I hope I still can believe in is a miracle. Will my hope be crushed yet again?
Do you ever wish you could be a kid again? Going to school, just to see your friends, play with them, do simple maths and do a whole lot of colouring. After school, coming back home and watching cartoons and in the evenings going out to play with the other kids from the neighbourhood or even playing with your brothers or sisters. Then during the nights, having dinner, eating whatever you like not worrying about putting on any weight, spending time with your family and going to bed early without any worries or problems. We used to be so carefree. I really wish I could be a kid again. I wonder why we had to grow up and face all sorts of problems. Now life is just unbearable. I'm hating my life to the max. I miss my high school friends, my dad, my mom and most especially my dear brother who is in UK. I hate college life. I used to think that college life is all about having fun and all, but BOYYYY was I wrong! Its so sucky. Full of assignments and shitty presentations and snobbish rich kids and somewhat moody lecturers. Ugghh! I miss home and I want to go home so bad. I wish I could just chuck everything and run back and live in the comforts of my own home, and have my moms cooking instead of eating yucky outside food. I wish I appreciated home when I still could. I miss my mom driving me around here and there. I miss sitting at the dining table and having long chats with my whole family. I miss talking and spending time with my brother. I miss going shopping with my mom. I miss going to school just to see my friends and yak with them from the time I go to school till school ends. I miss getting into trouble with teachers. Basically, I miss the life I used to have. Currently, everything is new to me. I have to make my own decisions, do everything for myself, be independent, wake up all by myself to the fugly sound of my alarm. Why do we even have to grow up? Separations are so hurtful. Everytime someone I love leaves me a part of me becomes empty and its getting emptier and emptier day by day. I have made some new friends in college, they are nice and all but they can never replace the friends I used to have back then. They understand exactly how I feel just by looking at my pathetic expressions. Sighhs. I could just cry and cry and cry thinking about my younger days. How I miss it so bloody much! I have no one to talk to now. My life her is so boring and lonely. Its like no one understands me. I talk to m mom and as usual she never makes me feel any better. I try talking to my boyfriend and it somehow turns into a fight but I STILL LOVE YOU B. And the only person who always knows the perfect way to make me feel better is my brother and I have no idea where he has been MIA-ing. I miss him so bloody much. HAIHHS. I had a Chemistry test today which I guarantee I failed. I did so badly I should kill myself. Now tomorrow there's Computer Science test. Which is gonna be another headache. I hope I do better for that one or not I'm doomed for life. Dear GOD PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME. I'm in dire need of help. Thanks. I hope tomorrow would be a better day for me. And I hope my life would not be so lame anymore. Good night people who actually read my blog.
Okay, so here's the thing. I've been together with this certain someone for almost 7 months now. No one actually knows anything about it except for those very very close friends. I'm really happy how things are going between us now. Though we did have many ups and downs but I don't think I'm going to let anything come in our way now. When I'm with him I'm the happiest. He makes me happy all the time and I'm so lucky to have him. He makes me feel so special and loved. I don't think I want to hide it any longer that I have a boyfriend therefore, I'm blogging about it to let everyone know that I'm crazily in love with HIM, though I think only two people read my blog but WHAT THE HECK LAH! SO yeahhh, finally its out. I'm HAPPPY and I would like to thank all my friends for he support you guys have given me, especially LOSHINI, who knew it from day 1 till now. Thanks LO. I love you. Oh, weee...I'm full of LOVE.
Sayang,
I don't know if you will ever read this but thanks so much for everything you have done for me. Thanks a bunch for taking such good care of me when I was wasted, and whenever I was sleepy or sad. You mean so much to me and I never ever want to lose you but incase anything happens I hope we'll still be close friends. I love you so very much and I treasure every single moment spent with you. Currently, I'm misssing you like crazyyyyy cause you just left to Penang after spending a whole entire week with me, hence this post. It was the best week of my life. Well, I don't even know why I am blogging about all this but I just felt like it. I'm soooo full of love for you now and I really think I better stop crapping. But I LOVE JOOOO?
Okayhh!! There's it, call me LAME but I think I'm reallllly in love. So don't mind this stupid mushy post. It is just for remembrance.
Ok, so I know I haven't blogged in like forever and Kelsey isn't very happy about it. Therefore, I'm going to update it now.
Dear Kels,
As you know damn well, this blog has been created specially for you so that you can keep up with what's happening in my life. So do make sure you read it or not I'm going to delete it. So be very afraid.
There you go bestie. Just for you. I'm going to study now. Erggh. Only my second day in college and I already have to get ready for a quiz. Bummer. Good night world.
